Every relationship has some things that annoy us about the other person. After all, we have very different personality types, that means a long list of diverse strengths, values, and priorities.
Opposites attract for more than two-thirds of relationships. That’s the: I love you just the way you are part. Because you’re so…and that helps me when I’m… fill in the blanks in a number of areas beyond that you’re obviously with someone who’s good looking, talented and kind. The ‘now change’ part comes at different times for every couple – but it comes. If you were just more…and not so… and I really need you to start being…
Once that train leaves the station, you have to be prepared to get one issue back for each one that you raise. That might be to get even or ahead or, breaking news: You may not be perfect after all…
Four things:
Use or find a sense of humor: Small issues tend to stay small for Blues and Oranges. They’re both people-first Colors that don’t make a big deal of little deals and use humor because they’re always funny (Oranges) or want to defuse tension (Blues). When you can laugh about some of your subconscious behaviors or annoying habits you’re more than half-way home.
Would you rather be happy or right? And now we come to the Golds and Greens. If you’re explaining and justifying, you’re already losing. I know: You’ve ‘always done it that way.’ I know that it’s the ‘right’ way, or that it’s the most logical, efficient, or whatever. Before you respond with anything that includes the word ‘but,’ or ‘you don’t understand,’ can you take a 10-minute time-out? Just long enough to decide whether this issue is more important than happiness in your relationship. No, this whatever-it-is issue isn’t going to end your relationship. However, it can have a cumulative effect: A bunch more times of needing to be right over a few more years will make things worse and not better.
Let your partner understand Colors: 70% of conflicts at work or in relationships revolve around personality clashes. That’s a one-seminar fix for teams and a $20 help for a relationship. Every person who gets this newsletter is familiar with Colors. Your parter isn’t. The $20 Colorful Personalities book can get you a ways to most conflict resolutions. Just ask him or her to do the assessment in the front and read the chapter of your highest score. They’ll find the rest of the insights by themselves. After that, eight bucks more gets you the insights into every relationship Colors combination and ‘homework’ to help each other from the Colors of Relationships book.
Your Colors are not your behaviors: Whether it’s at home or at work, your behaviors can change. Today, if you want – or never if you want to use your personality type as an excuse. Yes, Colors explains a lot, as does the influence of your family growing up, but many – most – behaviors aren’t somehow mandated by your primary Color. Being organized and a planner are two strong Gold traits. But you can pick when that matters, or when it works for both you and your partner. Yes, running late can happen to an Orange when they’re multi-tasking and need to put out just one more fire. That’s not an Orange necessity. It’s a drive that can just as easily be turned off when it’s going to become an issue at home, just as much as choosing to never be late for a client meeting.