Since Golds are the largest group, they are vast numbers of relationships where one partner is Gold and the other is the non-Gold. We’ll call them (you?) NG.
One common conflict, depending on your Color and the score of your Gold partner, is the issue of the kitchen. If you’re the NG, you need to be helpful, but you can’t actually help in the kitchen itself. While Goldie is working, you also can’t just sit around, watch TV, or play with your phone. That would be irresponsible and can quickly escalate the stress, anger or frustration in Goldie.
Do something – anything – but seem busy and move! Ask if you can help with dinner. The answer will be kind of confusing though. Sure, you may already know this because you learned it the hard way – or still can’t quite understand what’s happening…
You can help, just not in the actual dinner prep. There’s a process that’s been refined over the years and doesn’t vary. It’s tried and true, has always been done that way, and Goldie isn’t about to take feedback to re-invent the wheel. There’s a process and teaching you isn’t likely to happen. It’s not that you as a NG aren’t coachable or lovable, it’s just that there’s not much chance you’ll do it right (aka Goldies’ way). You probably have better odds of stepping into a Cirque du Soleil performance tomorrow than taking over the kitchen.
While this is cooking, that can be cleaned, this can go into the dishwasher, that can get pulled out, this cleaned to then get used for that, this prepped so that that is ready when the veggies go into the air fryer, because that has to be perfectly timed so everything comes together at the same time – period!
It’s poetry in motion…not to you, but to most Goldies. It’s efficient, it’s routine, it’s set in stone, and the kitchen is 90% clean before you ever sit down to eat! So, your help will be on the peripheral: Set the table, locate the kids, clean the dining table, set the table, get the juice…whatever needs to be done that’s not in Goldies way or in in Goldies area code.
Goldies appreciate it when NGs step in and take over on the non-Goldie nights like take-out food, pizza nights, McDonalds with the kids or your date night dinners. But the kitchen is kind of off limits to NGs. No disrespect, but you likely don’t even know the proper way to load the dishwasher, or that the milk or ketchup do have an EXACT spot in the fridge.
Next month, we’ll cover the how-to for after dinner. You probably hadn’t realized that’s just as critical in what you need to know (and do) as the first part…