I’m very blessed to have a great Orange/Green neighbor. I’m not just saying that because I can borrow his vast collection of tools, but also get his knowledge and help from time to time.
He’s very outgoing, friendly, direct, can talk about three things in one sentence, has always worked in hands-on jobs and is a self-proclaimed non-reader. But, like all of us, he has more than one Color and his Orange hasn’t really been “seen” for a year, and he personally hasn’t been seen for two months and counting. What the heck?
When any of us go through some major stress or traumatic event, we flip Colors. It’s a chapter in the Colorful Personalities book called “Out of Esteem.” It’s more – way more – than just a bad day. For him, it’s been stretches of unemployment during Covid, followed by two sholder surgeries. These days he has no interest or desire to talk to anyone. He has a wife and adult daughter in the house and that’s likely all the conversation and people-interaction he can handle right now. He’s turned very Green.
Both of us often keep our garage doors one-third open. These days, when he hears voices from my place or on the sidewalk, his garage door closes. It’s the “do not disturb” message. Yes, I can still hear him working in the garage, but there’s no visiting hours or minutes these days.
When any of us are out of esteem we typically go into our second or our last Colors to deal with it. If you’ve been working from home you probably haven’t even noticed it with others on your team. After all, the word team is rather misleading when you were all in different places and don’t interacted in person. It does make me wonder how many of us had major waves of being out of esteem in the last two years…
No, my neighbor hasn’t “changed” his personality type. He, probably like a few people in your circle of friends, neighbors, or at work, has just flipped Colors in order to deal with things. Those people will all be “back” to being themselves and their primary Color. But in that state, honor them for how they’re behaving right now and how they’re dealing with it. It’s not our journey – it’s theirs. And it’s not “do onto others as you would have them do unto you.” It’s more like: Honor the Color they’re in right now. Oh, and Blues: Do not keep wondering what you did to cause it!! You didn’t!