After a Colors seminar a few months ago, a Gold lady shared a big fight she had with her Green partner. Their chicken coop needed to be fixed for the winter. Both decided that last June and agreed to have it done the end of August. That completion date, with a more than reasonable deadline, now went on her to-do list. For her Green partner…not so much…
This wasn’t exactly a job that required a lot of problem solving or thinking. It was just a bunch of labor…so guess how high that would be on the priority list of a Green that looks for complex and intricate work that requires some brain power, versus the use of a hammer for two days? Yup – by mid September the work hadn’t started and winter wasn’t going to wait. Hence the fight when he “hadn’t gotten around to it.”
It’s a really common source of arguments in relationships with a Green partner. But why make it into a fight? My suggestion was (and always is) to agree to a reasonable deadline because the work does have to be done. The week before, give your partner the heads up that the following week you’re going to start calling contractors for quotes.
This lady shared that she couldn’t (wouldn’t) do that as it’d be an even bigger fight. Why? Her Green partner agreed to a deadline and it was way past that time. He could delay the fixing, but couldn’t delay the arrival of winter! He clearly chose (yes – chose) not to make this a priority. That’s perfectly acceptable but it needed to get done. If there was another argument it would only be once. After that, her Green partner would realize that his Gold wife expected him to honor his word. We teach others how to treat us…