Art had just celebrated his 40th birthday when his doctor advised him that he had skin cancer. Further tests confirmed cancer in a couple of areas and he would be facing surgery. As a high Green, he immediately defaulted to what he referred to as ‘research mode.’
It started with trips to the library, and endless hours pulling information from the Internet. Then came the sorting of the factual from the fiction, the credible from the wishful. Always digging further and continuously seeking more information. Art became more withdrawn during this time in his life. It was not a matter of needing comfort or support, as much as the overriding need for knowledge and understanding.
If he was scared or afraid, it was not something to share with anyone. Within a month of his surgery, he had accumulated two binders of information. In the hospital pre-op, he actually felt better already. He had logically analyzed all available research and material, ranging from his options to the probability of reoccurrence. Art was comfortable in his selection of a surgeon who had always given him straight answers. It was very reassuring to him that it was a person of credibility who had his trust.
But it was devastating for his Blue wife to be almost entirely shut out. She was feeling scared and wanted to comfort him. To hold him, to hug and reassure him. She wanted him to open up, to share and to ‘let her in.’ After all, isn’t this a time that brings couples closer together? To talk it out, share their feelings and mutually support each other?